#journal #writing #story

You were with the kitchen sink, to say, the illusion you were by alone was the image you saw, for they say “everything but the kitchen sink.”  I think the joke was on you, however; you’re not alone.  There were things, most of who you are, you wouldn’t tell souls you saw as strangers.  Maybe you were famous, incarnated prior, and held a place of power but choked on secrets as a set pole, an illusory end stuck with a strong root below the surface and the flag end correct but a minuscule aspect of the whole impression.  The bigger impression was the unseen.  So, you scrubbed pots after closing, nearby 1.  I remember your cheer and excitement to work.  You trained new workers and you weren’t even twenty, even educated and articulate enough to train new, Mexican workers.  You helped out a lot.  You wanted to benefit the whole.  You told yourself to do better.

Here I am, used none of my wisdom, except for acclaim, this time around, in the know.  I’m upset because my habits, now, aren’t play or trifle.  Education before it becomes knowledge isn’t even a drop in the bucket.  Use requires action, experience.  I’m hungry, watching my favorite tv program.  What’s wrong with too many chips?  A touch of loss in the act of consumption.  I steal regardless of the people around me.  I know when I’m doing wrong.  There with people, the impression I make can have a lack of perpetuation.  Rarely, I’m happy.  A lot of what I do doesn’t greet the impact of light with my true name.  Talents are lost to laziness, and study and plans are time’s pole.  Time is, almost, evaporated.  To cut out things I do a lot for gluttony is to heal, right down to hygiene.

You had the motion of your body for granted.  The tastes you cooked clouded in shade your name.  Importance lay on acclaim and tastes.  You loved a compliment.  You even produced without being asked.  There was no lameness in your aspect of carry.  Practicing wasn’t pretend.  Lines were drawn between where hurt had you for long, but not for long.  You were a capsule of relief for your comforts.  Personal interactions aimed to heighten the other now gets difficult.  The lame aspects of your being have come to dig your grave.

I look at you like my son now.  I am your capsule of relief, since you relieved only in order to stop a chase or anger.  You didn’t have to stick your head in the sand of addiction.  You can bet on pain, the pain you created.  You created the pain of your transformation.  These choices look the same, but benefit is the pain of choice.  Benefitting alone produces pain, though you see pleasure.  The rock before the rising sun isn’t the wall you perceive people placed behind you.  You lean on the wall and wait.  The rock is a tremendous opportunity to learn to climb.  Health is as important as having friends, and it’s the will of the universe and natural your gains are measured on your exercise.  Exercising will away from the wall of what you feel oppresses higher aspects and over the way that you can learn as a beginner makes the insurmountable smaller.  An outline comes first as you walk in the way millions are to the rock of discovery, the rock we share in common, the rock of change. 

“But I know,” I said.  “I see it there and have heard of it.  It’s challenging, it’s universal.  I say, a benefit as no sleep can provide.”

“So why don’t you get excited, take care to proactive love?” you asked.

“I don’t remember receiving any as a child,” I said.  “I’m hurt beyond belief.  The memory is like reliving a war.  That’s why I cry watching war movies and on memorial holidays.  I know how it feels.”

“You’re so clever and creative.  You don’t want to share your better self?” you asked.

“I feel too broken,” I said.  “I can’t breathe.  I can barely stand.”

“You’re supposed to take care of yourself.  Even the dog knows that,” you said, “Don’t you know that?”

“Why do children suffer,” I asked.

You said, “we can suffer as children or as parents for the imprint our desires have impacted, stamped on time through the generations.  Based on who and what our souls have begotten prior to our physical existence, we attract change,  only what our soul knows we have capacity to change or desire to change,  and the way we suffer is relative to how we feel we can, and do, become better for it.   Everyone has a role we should learn from the people we’re with.  Life for the living shapes according to the direction, the strength of their desires, and self control.  Empty desires need purging, even out of thought.  Death needs to happen to things anti unity.  A message is in everything.  Only the living can impact measures of elevation.  The power of control is in controlling less.  We can control ourselves to completely benefit the entire planet.  The wisdom already exists, but for everyone involved a process occurs so every ‘he and another’ helps earn, and only earn,  infinitely higher levels of knowledge and being through the way of learning then knowing in experience.”

“Yeah, so, perfect, I know.  I’m just tired.”

“You slowly begin to take care of yourself,” you said.  “Cry if you have to.  Think of others.  Only you can discern the good through unlocking your gates.”

“I want to start over.”

You said, “but you can sweeten everything now.  You have a cause.  You have merit…  Change.”

“I know.  I’ve seen it,” I said.